http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/-t1.htm For all those jokes and funnies you keep coming up with. Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:46:29 GMT 10 http://i31.servimg.com/u/f31/12/91/28/05/purple10.jpg http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/-t1.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/a-husband-s-insult-t2307.htm Steph One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast.' Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!' His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out. 'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, ... FUNNY STUFF Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:46:29 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/a-husband-s-insult-t2307.htm#54149 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/a-husband-s-insult-t2307.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/us-stella-awards-ridiculous-compensation-cases-t2245.htm Steph Stella Awards It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. She took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That' s right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the ... FUNNY STUFF Thu, 01 Oct 2009 11:45:25 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/us-stella-awards-ridiculous-compensation-cases-t2245.htm#52867 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/us-stella-awards-ridiculous-compensation-cases-t2245.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/very-rude-but-very-funny-t2297.htm WeirdCat http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZ3lw-eNrFk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nktmFsbArww]]> FUNNY STUFF Mon, 12 Oct 2009 09:09:24 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/very-rude-but-very-funny-t2297.htm#53862 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/very-rude-but-very-funny-t2297.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/naughty-but-funny-t2236.htm Steph A very frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless knickers in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the lounge settee opposite her husband. At strategic moments she crosses her legs ... enough times till her husband says... "Are you wearing crotchless knickers?" "Y-e-s," she answers in an excited tone and with a seductive smile. "Thank goodness for that... I thought the ... FUNNY STUFF Sun, 27 Sep 2009 11:36:50 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/naughty-but-funny-t2236.htm#52611 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/naughty-but-funny-t2236.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/second-opinion-t2232.htm Steph Second Opinion! The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.' Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was ... FUNNY STUFF Fri, 25 Sep 2009 08:38:49 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/second-opinion-t2232.htm#52457 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/second-opinion-t2232.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/letter-to-tesco-customer-t2228.htm Steph Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford last year. Dear Mrs. Mxxxxx, Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of his actions ... FUNNY STUFF Tue, 22 Sep 2009 11:50:50 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/letter-to-tesco-customer-t2228.htm#52296 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/letter-to-tesco-customer-t2228.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/apt-anagrams-t2212.htm Steph PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM SLOT MACHINES: When ... FUNNY STUFF Thu, 17 Sep 2009 21:57:58 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/apt-anagrams-t2212.htm#51974 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/apt-anagrams-t2212.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/oh-to-be-12-again-t2226.htm Steph Oh To Be 12 Again... A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. 'I'd like to be twelve again', she replied. On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Alton Towers theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Corkscrew, ... FUNNY STUFF Mon, 21 Sep 2009 21:23:06 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/oh-to-be-12-again-t2226.htm#52267 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/oh-to-be-12-again-t2226.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/the-american-journalist-true-story-t2210.htm Steph A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi (a well known American journalist) happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease. 'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?' 'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with ... FUNNY STUFF Tue, 15 Sep 2009 09:04:21 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/the-american-journalist-true-story-t2210.htm#51850 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/the-american-journalist-true-story-t2210.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/have-i-already-sent-you-this-t2208.htm Steph My forgetter's getting better, But my rememberer is broke To you that may seem funny But, to me, that is no joke For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering If I really should be 'there' And, when I try to think it through, I haven't got a prayer! Oft times I walk into a room, Say 'what am I here for?' I wrack my brain, but all in vain! A zero, is my score. At times I put something away Where it is safe, but, Gee! The person it is safest from Generally is me! When ... FUNNY STUFF Mon, 14 Sep 2009 11:41:23 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/have-i-already-sent-you-this-t2208.htm#51784 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/have-i-already-sent-you-this-t2208.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/one-for-sue-t2189.htm Celfyddydau ]]> FUNNY STUFF Thu, 10 Sep 2009 11:53:19 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/one-for-sue-t2189.htm#51371 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/one-for-sue-t2189.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/irish-poker-t2205.htm Steph Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary 's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses £500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?' They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. 'Discreet??? ... FUNNY STUFF Mon, 14 Sep 2009 07:24:31 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/irish-poker-t2205.htm#51741 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/irish-poker-t2205.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/the-drunken-driver-t2206.htm Steph A man who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. 'So,' says the cop to the driver, 'where have ya been?' 'Why, I've been to the pub of course,' slurs the drunk. 'Well,' says the cop, 'it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening.' 'I did all right,' the drunk says with a smile. 'Did you know,' says the cop, standing straight, and folding his arms across ... FUNNY STUFF Mon, 14 Sep 2009 07:27:18 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/the-drunken-driver-t2206.htm#51742 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/the-drunken-driver-t2206.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/great-truths-about-getting-old-t2162.htm Steph GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ☺ 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, ... FUNNY STUFF Thu, 03 Sep 2009 07:43:05 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/great-truths-about-getting-old-t2162.htm#50485 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/great-truths-about-getting-old-t2162.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/great-truths-adults-have-learnt-t2164.htm Steph
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground..
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.]]> FUNNY STUFF Thu, 03 Sep 2009 09:05:10 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/great-truths-adults-have-learnt-t2164.htm#50522 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/great-truths-adults-have-learnt-t2164.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/great-truths-children-have-learnt-t2163.htm Steph GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.. 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. 8) You can't ... FUNNY STUFF Thu, 03 Sep 2009 09:04:33 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/great-truths-children-have-learnt-t2163.htm#50521 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/great-truths-children-have-learnt-t2163.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/mums-in-group-therapy-t2142.htm Steph Mums in group therapy A psychologist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions,' he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.' He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is with money. Again it manifests n your child's name, Penny.' He turned to the third Mom, Kathy: 'Your obsession is alcohol. This ... FUNNY STUFF Sun, 30 Aug 2009 10:37:20 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/mums-in-group-therapy-t2142.htm#50166 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/mums-in-group-therapy-t2142.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/aliens-rude-but-funny-rude-t2115.htm Steph Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.' The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. ... FUNNY STUFF Sat, 22 Aug 2009 22:27:46 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/aliens-rude-but-funny-rude-t2115.htm#49532 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/aliens-rude-but-funny-rude-t2115.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/a-rabbit-walked-into-a-pub-t2073.htm Steph A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?' The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives ... FUNNY STUFF Tue, 11 Aug 2009 15:07:54 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/a-rabbit-walked-into-a-pub-t2073.htm#48483 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/a-rabbit-walked-into-a-pub-t2073.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/chocolate-maths-t1567.htm sp01goat someone sent me this... Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a fib anyway - but the Cadbury Man will know! YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATHS This is pretty clever. DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute . Work this out as you read . Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun. 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than ... FUNNY STUFF Sat, 16 May 2009 23:16:47 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/chocolate-maths-t1567.htm#39178 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/chocolate-maths-t1567.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/bit-of-bad-duck-t2082.htm Di Masters A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your duck has passed away." The distressed ... FUNNY STUFF Thu, 13 Aug 2009 10:12:30 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/bit-of-bad-duck-t2082.htm#48702 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/bit-of-bad-duck-t2082.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/flying-qantas-t2057.htm Steph Qantas Airlines: Repair Division Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that Aussie ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance ... FUNNY STUFF Fri, 07 Aug 2009 09:53:06 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/flying-qantas-t2057.htm#48152 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/flying-qantas-t2057.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/three-men-on-a-hike-t2039.htm Steph Three Men on a Hike Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, Violent river. Needing to get to the other side,the first man prayed: ' God, please give me the strength to cross the river. ' Poof! .. God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours having almost drowned twice. After witnessing that, the second man prayed: God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river ' Poof! ... FUNNY STUFF Mon, 03 Aug 2009 11:25:30 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/three-men-on-a-hike-t2039.htm#47825 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/three-men-on-a-hike-t2039.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/benefit-office-t2035.htm Steph A woman walks into the benefits office, trailed by 15 kids... 'WOW,' the advisor exclaims, are they all yours? 'Yeah they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, ' Sit down Terry.' All the children rush to find seats. 'Well,' says the advisor, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names.' 'This one's my oldest - he is Terry.' 'OK, and who's next? 'Well, this one he is Terry, also.' ... FUNNY STUFF Sun, 02 Aug 2009 19:50:55 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/benefit-office-t2035.htm#47741 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/benefit-office-t2035.htm http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/spoon-t2006.htm Steph The spoon: How consultants can make a difference in an organization. Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why ... FUNNY STUFF Thu, 30 Jul 2009 20:28:04 GMT http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/spoon-t2006.htm#47229 http://lousloonies.forumandco.com/funny-stuff-f27/spoon-t2006.htm